Winter Dreams

Fitzgerald was a master. Let's get that out of the way to begin with. Overrated, underrated, whatever you want to cal him, the man had some serious insight into the world. While The Great Gatsby is his magnum opus, his short stories are often overlooked. However, one of his short stories, Winter Dreams, really stands out for me.

Without getting too much into the story, it somewhat covers that feeling of loss and isolation we feel when presented with something from our past that didn't turn out the way we expected. For Dexter, the protagonist of the story, this moment comes when he realizes that the woman he could never have, Judy Jones, a once beautiful and illustrious socialite, is now a plain house-wife, years after their trysts of younger days. His feelings of grandeur that he once held onto left him immediately upon finding out this information; it was as if a part of his older life, a part that he held onto, was torn away, and it could never be gotten again.

I think this is something we all face when reminiscing about the past. The things that we once knew, whether they be people, places, or even ideas that we held about certain subjects, often look less grand through the eyes of age and experience. Whether its the world beating us down with the stark realization of things, or just a change in our overall point of view, I think everyone, at some point in their lives, has felt that sudden pang of remorse when remembering something from younger days.

For me, it's seeing people from my school days. I will sometimes see pictures, or even just small bits of information, about people that I happened to know in school. Back then they were smart, beautiful, or popular; they were captains of the football team or prom queens. The most popular and well liked people in their teenage years, now relegated to grinding jobs or part of an unloving marriage. The years have worn away the old facade of youthful exuberance and only the wanton maliciousness of years gone by can be seen on their faces.

I think life wears at everyone. It's only those people that actively choose to reaffirm their life whenever they can that ultimately liberate themselves from the overwhelmingly mundane existence that most of us inhabit. Maybe Fitzgerald was right about losing something, but maybe that loss doesn't have to equate to sadness. Sometimes loss is necessary in order for life to begin anew.